So i came up to the tee and i was then in a normal life?I hit with innocenting arms only to see that ball that fuckiniiiiing ball go not on the correct life path.I felt that trapedness in my centre of my mind,the chemicals had already become so inbalanced they could have been running out my nose,it was like i was lying at the bottom of a pile of a 100dred rugby players-death panic consuming,becoming me,and simultaneously trying to clime a ladder to a prickly nightmare.Such a struggle from blackness.I just want to fall away,surrender,God take me,Heaven please just love me away from here.

(This is my foem that i writed about my day playing golf)